Why am I so fascinated with group work?

Found this write up in Wikipedia that made me see clearly why I enjoy group coaching so much.

Universality

The recognition of shared experiences and feelings among group members and that these may be widespread or universal human concerns, serves to remove a group member's sense of isolation, validate their experiences, and raise self-esteem

Altruism

The group is a place where members can help each other, and the experience of being able to give something to another person can lift the member's self esteem and help develop more adaptive coping styles and interpersonal skills.
Instillation of hope

In a mixed group that has members at various stages of development or recovery, a member can be inspired and encouraged by another member who has overcome the problems with which they are still struggling.

Imparting information

Members often report that it has been very helpful to learn factual information from other members in the group.

Development of socializing techniques

The group setting provides a safe and supportive environment for members to take risks by extending their repertoire of interpersonal behaviour and improving their social skills. Group members achieve a greater level of self-awareness through the process of interacting with others in the group, who give feedback on the member's behaviour and impact on others.

Imitative behaviour

One way in which group members can develop social skills is through a modeling process, observing and imitating the therapist and other group members. For example, sharing personal feelings, showing concern, and supporting others.

Cohesiveness

It has been suggesteg that this is the primary therapeutic factor from which all others flow. Humans are herd animals with an instinctive need to belong to groups, and personal development can only take place in an interpersonal context. A cohesive group is one in which all members feel a sense of belonging, acceptance, and validation.

Catharsis

Catharsis is the experience of relief from emotional distress through the free and uninhibited expression of emotion. When members tell their story to a supportive audience, they can obtain relief from chronic feelings of shame and guilt.

Two-chair work in coaching

Two-chair is a very powerful work that many schools of psychotherapy have borrowed from Gestalt therapy and psychodrama. In therapy, two chair work takes a person into the past to resolve unfinished issues. It could however, be very effectively adapted for coaching.
One application of this when clients experience conflicts within themselves, when they are of “two minds,” or when they are “at war with themselves.” Splits or conflicts often involve issues of desire and criticism or of desire, fear, and criticism.
These kinds of situations involve a harsh and critical voice (also known as the “inner critic”). In this two chair work, one chair embodies the critic, and the person speaks from this perspective while in the chair. In the other chair, which is known as the experiencing chair, the person expresses how it feels to be criticized. An example of is of a client who wanted to get back to her writing and found herself procrastinating because she would make very high demands of herself. She was able to have dialogue between the critic and the creative side of herself. She discovered that both sides were frightened of each other. She was able to work out moderated bursts of creativity that did not allow her critical side to be overwhelmed.
Another kind of inner dilemma can be found around decisions. Indecision may reflect a conflict between two values or choices in the future. Decisions to take a new job or stay in the current one may not have a clear right or wrong answer. Having each chair represent a side of the argument and having the client speak from that perspective (“I want to stay in my current job,” “I want to take the new job”) can help him or her get a clearer sense of the emotional valence of each side as well as some historical factors and introjects that may be contributing to the indecision.

Experimental Freedom in Coaching

While coaching is about talking and helping a client generate options, there are a variety of techniques that the coach can borrow from various schools of therapy that can be brought into play. Here are some techniques that can be brought from Gestalt therapy which is more experiential than talk therapy.

Through experiments, the coach supports the client’s direct experience of something new, instead of merely talking about the possibility of something new. The coach creates an experience in which a client might learn something as part of their growth.

Examples might include: (1) Rather than talking about the client's boss, a coach might ask the client to imagine the boss is present, or that the coach is the boss, and talk to that boss directly; (2) If a client is struggling with how to be assertive, a coach could have the client say some assertive things to the coach or (3) A coach might notice something about the non-verbal behavior or tone of voice of the client; then the coach might have the client exaggerate the non-verbal behavior and pay attention to that experience; (4) A coach therapist might work with the breathing or posture of the client, and direct awareness to changes that might happen when the client talks about different content. With all these experiments the coach is working with process rather than content, the How rather than the What.

A letter to yourself

In this blog, I am going to make a list of tools to use in coaching. Here is one called "Letter to yourself" - an NLP technique. This is preceeded by a visualisation about the person the clients wants to be in the future. "With soft eyes - open your eyes slowly, staying connected to the future you. Let the future you write a letter to the present you, giving practical advice on how to be ... what yo believe... what you have learned that will continue to unfold and benefit you from now on.. what kind of actions to take... what kind of physiology is useful... what to say to yourself... what to say to others...what you can do on a dily basis... Let the free, wise, future you guide you now!"

The roles of a peer coach

An extract from Marshall Goldsmith's article on peer coaching.

“ Each coach plays three basic roles for the other. From the peer coach’s point of view:
• I’m your thinking partner
• I’m here as objective support
• I’m here to help you be accountable

Thinking Partner:

It’s always easier to see someone more objectively than yourself. Even if I’m struggling to improve in the same developmental areas as you, I am much more capable of identifying a solution for you than I am for myself. It is difficult to know what to do when we find ourselves in the heat of a developmental opportunity.
Having someone I can turn to for direction when I’m lost in my old patterns is
enormously helpful, especially when this person is someone who knows me and, and is
someone I can trust enough to reveal my blind spots and vulnerabilities.

Objective Support:

My stakeholders know my old patterns well because they’ve lived and worked with them
over time. You as my peer coach come from a fresh point of view. You can see beyond
our history, and you can see many more possibilities and strategies that are way outside the box of my habitual work experience.

Accountability:

I know you’re going to ask me how I’m doing with the goals I set last week. You’re the one I entrusted with my list of what I really want to accomplish, and what I’ve committed to myself I’ll actually do. I’m counting on you to remember to ask me."

Scaling questions

Scaling questions are useful in helping clients to assess their own situations, track their own progress, or evaluate how others might rate them on a scale of 0 to 10. Scaling questions are relatively easy to use and extremely versatile.
Here are some guidelines for scaling questions.
After you introduce them to the scale ( 0 being the worst and 10 being the best in what they desire), ask them where they see themselves currently. Often you can ask the client to describe what 0 and 10 means to them. Ask them what they are already doing that allows them to be there (What are you doing right already? What has worked for you in achieving this? Who has helped?) This allows them to see what they can build on. Ask what they would do differently to get to the next number. Visualise success by asking the client to describe the next level. Ask if the client has in the past ever been in a higher position on the scale. Ask what helped them get there. Ask how they could replicate that in a sustained manner. Scaling questions could also be asked to compare self perception with social perception (How would your boss rate your risk taking on the same scale?)
Scaling questions can be used at the beginning and end of any session. They can be used at the beginning and end of a coaching relationship.

In what way is a group more powerful than one-on-one coaching?

I experience game playing on part of a client much more in a one-on-one setting than in a group setting. Here is an extract from Daniel Kahneman’s 'Thinking, fast and slow" that may explain why that is so. He says, “It is much more easier, as well as far more enjoyable, to identify and label the mistakes of others than to recognise our own. Questioning what we believe and want is difficult at the best of times, and especially difficult when we most need to do it, but we can benefit from the informed opinion of others.”

When I get stuck with a person, I often invite others to share what they see. The sharing of the others is a powerful reinforcer to what I attempt as a coach. It also gives me some time out to look at the conversation in a detached way and approach it from another angle.

Another thing I have seen is the as each person is working through an issue, every other person in the room is connecting with it. It is a powerful permission to talk about one’s own difficulties. People often report feeling more empathetic. They are able to understand the motivations behind what they would otherwise label as difficult behaviour. Most of all, the fact that they are not alone in what they experience, reduces the struggle and leads to an acceptance of the situation. Without the struggle, the issue is a lot more manageable. That is why I love group coaching.